Finally, Deanna (ahhhh, the song) has found true love. Finally, she is engaged. Finally, Deanna (ok, I will stop, but you try not singing Jesse's opus) has found the man of her dreams. Finally, The Bachelor(ette) series has found a couple that may actually have chemistry.
It all started off so drearily--endless filler and flashbacks. Faces from the past flash by (ah, Graehme, we hardly knew ye), and then it is time for the dreaded VISIT TO DEANNA's FAMILY. They seem a nice enough bunch. Dad seems a bit conservative and testy, but the rest are innocuous enough. Jason goes first, bearing flowers for Deanna and an Easter Basket for the family. Hopefully, Peeps were involved. He has great chemistry----with Dad. Even the mention of Tie, (Ty? Tye? Ti?), his golf-ball lovin' son, didn't dissuade Daddy. He doesn't even need to meet the hippy snow-boarder. You can tell Jesse is gonna be in for a rough go. Then, the nice young man and Deanna go shark-diving or some such nonsense. Wow, he's so crazy. He can't believe that Deanna set up such a crazy date (like she actually plans these things). She tries to act enthusiastic but clearly not so much. Jason wants a wife/mother to complete his little family. As a wise person said, if Deanna picks him, its because she is in love with being in love (or somethin glike that, I should have written it down, sorry Tracy).
Now it is time for Jesse to Meet the Parent. Dad is a bit obsessed with sk8erboi's hair. Its like a 1960's My Three Sons episode. Jesse is nervous, awkward, and doesn't seem to hit if off with the family. But, he does have great chemistry with "D" (I love the nickname). They go off on their alone date, and the chemistry is totally apparent. D should be Jesse's Girl, to quote Rick Springfield.
Awkward moment time--the dear departed Jeremy (already long forgotten) has decided that it would be fun to grovel at Deanna's (OK, OK) feet. He begs, pleads, whines AND cajoles, but Deanna is unmoved. She tries to break his heart gently, but in the end, he leaves, devestated, just before security has to be called (just kidding, they were standing by).
Now, more fun. Meet the extended crazy Greek family!!! That's right, they are zany characters, just like in the movie! Those darn Greeks! And, get this, Jesse is sitting there when the doorbel rings....and its Jason. THose darn producers! Most of the family loves Jason, the nice young man, while everyone (especially ZaZA, the wacky grandmother) is a little put off by doing "nugs"--a sk8erboi special fistpump--incessantly. ZaZa and PoPo (it was not as inane as it sounds) declare their undying love for one another, and wish the same for Deanna, so long as they don't have to do any more nugs.
The guys babble a bit, buy rings, and here is the big moment. Jason is first. He staggers in (really, he had he oddest Lurch-like walk) and almost immediately kneels. Deanna yanks him to his feet, mumbles some banal almost but not quite language to him, and sends him packing. Good. Go back to Tie and register for e-Harmony.
Sk8erboi comes in, and bells ring, birds sing, a rainbow forms, and our love birds are engaged! (btw, thank God Jesse asked Pops for permission, because D would have dumped him otherwise). For once, a happy and perhaps real ending for our show, as D and Sk8.... ride off into the sunset (or until After the Final Rose, a compilation and interview post-game show). They seem happy, they look good, Dad didn't look too disapointed, Jason didn't look too sad, and Twilley didn't show up.
Until next season, then, let's all sing one final chorus of "Deanna" and salute our lovebirds.
08 July 2008
04 July 2008
These Are A Few of my Favorite Bands
So, musical theater title aside, I thought I would post on a few obscure bands that you all might enjoy. My taste runs to the eclectic, although in at least one case, I will take credit for discovering the band some time ago.
Dengue Fever: Dengue Fever is a "Cambodian Pop Rock Psychadelic Dance Party." Now who the hell isn't up for that? It is a crazy mix of late 60-early 70's grooves with amazing vocals in Cambodian. They are playing Central Park tomorrow and the Black Cat Club here in DC on Sunday. Check them out here for a taste of their music.
The Ting-Tings: This group is starting to get some play here in the States, but has been huge in the UK for a while now. They are originally from the Manchester area, and play a very catchy brand of indie-pop. On tour in the States now, will be in DC on July 22, and in Brooklyn this month as well. You can check them out here, I recommend starting with "Shut Up and Let Me Go." I dare you--in fact double-dare you--to not bounce along. I regularly do my upper-body only dance to this band.
Les Sans Cullottes: They are self-described as "the revolutionary French rock-and-roll band." Listen to them here before reading on. Go on, now I said to listen before reading on--don't make me tell you again....It is all a put-on! That is right, as described by NPR (who wouldn't joke around unnecessarily), "A French-style '60s band has taken New York by storm. But most of the members of Les Sans Culottes are Americans. Their act is a musical takeoff on the French pop music of an era far more famous in America for the British invasion led by The Beatles."
Stereo Total: Probably the best-known of the band's on today's list. They are a French-German duo, based in Berlin, that plays very interesting Pop-Electronic music. You can check them out here
That's all for now. I will periodically add more bands to the list, and encourage your offbeat (i.e. I recognize the Beatles are good) bands.
Cheers.
Dengue Fever: Dengue Fever is a "Cambodian Pop Rock Psychadelic Dance Party." Now who the hell isn't up for that? It is a crazy mix of late 60-early 70's grooves with amazing vocals in Cambodian. They are playing Central Park tomorrow and the Black Cat Club here in DC on Sunday. Check them out here for a taste of their music.
The Ting-Tings: This group is starting to get some play here in the States, but has been huge in the UK for a while now. They are originally from the Manchester area, and play a very catchy brand of indie-pop. On tour in the States now, will be in DC on July 22, and in Brooklyn this month as well. You can check them out here, I recommend starting with "Shut Up and Let Me Go." I dare you--in fact double-dare you--to not bounce along. I regularly do my upper-body only dance to this band.
Les Sans Cullottes: They are self-described as "the revolutionary French rock-and-roll band." Listen to them here before reading on. Go on, now I said to listen before reading on--don't make me tell you again....It is all a put-on! That is right, as described by NPR (who wouldn't joke around unnecessarily), "A French-style '60s band has taken New York by storm. But most of the members of Les Sans Culottes are Americans. Their act is a musical takeoff on the French pop music of an era far more famous in America for the British invasion led by The Beatles."
Stereo Total: Probably the best-known of the band's on today's list. They are a French-German duo, based in Berlin, that plays very interesting Pop-Electronic music. You can check them out here
That's all for now. I will periodically add more bands to the list, and encourage your offbeat (i.e. I recognize the Beatles are good) bands.
Cheers.
Happy Fourth of July!
I know you all thought this was nothing but a blog about shallow reality television shows like Legally Blonde: The Search for the Next Elle Woods (wow, that one girl tried so hard, but she had bronchitis.....but I digress).
Anyways, this article here is really fun (my inner geek comes out) and right in line with the spirit of the holiday. While I am a big Alexander Hamilton fan, I shudder at the thought of "His Highness the President of the United States of America, and Protector of Their Liberties" George W. Bush (the term is the one Pres. Adams wanted applied) holding the title for life!
Anyways, this article here is really fun (my inner geek comes out) and right in line with the spirit of the holiday. While I am a big Alexander Hamilton fan, I shudder at the thought of "His Highness the President of the United States of America, and Protector of Their Liberties" George W. Bush (the term is the one Pres. Adams wanted applied) holding the title for life!
03 July 2008
Three Men and a Little Lady
So it is time to get down to the final 2 on The Bachelorette (Deanna's Revenge). Deanna (Ah, I am hearing Jesse's song in my head, in his wonderful baritone monotone). Ok, 3 dates. First (I think) was Jeremy. Jeremy had a lot in common with Deanna--they have deceased parents. This guy has absolutely no light side. None. While he did a credible imitation of a human being enjoying himself on the date, their is no whimsy in this guy. But he did take the fantasy suite card, almost looked excited, and traipsed off to "share the suite" (this is the euphemism I will use throughout). Then came Jason. Jason has a kid, who he loves very much. In case you forgot. Deanna loves kids, and, you will remember, gave the little fella a golf ball last week. In fact, he loves Deanna (ah the song) as much as the kid! Deanna is either really enchanted or creeped out by that, and audibly gasps. She then gives him the fantasy card and they also wander of to "share the sweet, uh, suite."
Now sk8erboi, Jesse enters. This guy is goofy, and fun. They have a fun date, enlivened by Jesse's one liners and quips (he is actually funny). Then the serious conversation. sk8erboi puts on his straight face and asks when she wants her three kids---ASAP, please says "D" (I do find it a sign that they are getting close when he has a little nickname for her). She asks him what he wants to be when he grows up. "A Sports Agent" replies our hero, not realizing that generally requires a law degree ("OK, then a cowboy or a fireman"). Jesse is ready to get married right there, but he will settle for......"the suite." Is anyone else creeped out by D's suite-sharing ways? I know that is the point of the show, but, Good Lord, if you stop to think about it.....
Now it is time for....the hardest rose ceremony ever. Deanna's heart is breaking. It's always breaking. It should be lying in a crumple heap on the floor with Chris Harrison putting it back together again. But, she manages to carry on. sk8erboi is safe. Now the choice, Guy With Kid Jason/Jeremy or morbid Jason/Jeremy human clone. Outta here clone-boy. Your morbid poetry has won you a ticket home. He is visibly upset (unlike last week's loser Graehme, who clearly wanted to practice his jump shot). So now, we are down to the final two. On the tell-all show, Deanna (ahhhh the song again) says she is engaged AND in love. Thank goodness for the latter. Who's it gonna be? Smart money is on........BRAD!~! Just kiddding, we will be there for her wedding with sk8erboi.
Now sk8erboi, Jesse enters. This guy is goofy, and fun. They have a fun date, enlivened by Jesse's one liners and quips (he is actually funny). Then the serious conversation. sk8erboi puts on his straight face and asks when she wants her three kids---ASAP, please says "D" (I do find it a sign that they are getting close when he has a little nickname for her). She asks him what he wants to be when he grows up. "A Sports Agent" replies our hero, not realizing that generally requires a law degree ("OK, then a cowboy or a fireman"). Jesse is ready to get married right there, but he will settle for......"the suite." Is anyone else creeped out by D's suite-sharing ways? I know that is the point of the show, but, Good Lord, if you stop to think about it.....
Now it is time for....the hardest rose ceremony ever. Deanna's heart is breaking. It's always breaking. It should be lying in a crumple heap on the floor with Chris Harrison putting it back together again. But, she manages to carry on. sk8erboi is safe. Now the choice, Guy With Kid Jason/Jeremy or morbid Jason/Jeremy human clone. Outta here clone-boy. Your morbid poetry has won you a ticket home. He is visibly upset (unlike last week's loser Graehme, who clearly wanted to practice his jump shot). So now, we are down to the final two. On the tell-all show, Deanna (ahhhh the song again) says she is engaged AND in love. Thank goodness for the latter. Who's it gonna be? Smart money is on........BRAD!~! Just kiddding, we will be there for her wedding with sk8erboi.
30 June 2008
And Then There Were Two
Get ready for the continuation of Hell's Kitchen. It's Family Reunion Time. Here are Palazzo's Dad and Lady Friend; Blonde 1's Mom and (very quiet)BF and Blonde 2 and Mumsy and Dadsy. Everyone is all choked up and everything is beautiful (in its own way). Gordon, ever the self-effacing friend to all, offers to cook up one of his signature dishes for all. Now, if any of these contestants or their families had EVER watched the show before, they might think hmmmm....maybe something is up. But only one of our heroes uncovers Chef's cunning plan--they need to recreate the dish after the family leaves. While Palazzo and B1 exchange witty banter and lovey comments with their families, B2 and her fam think about the ingredients-Mom notes a "cream sauce." Guess what? Always listen to your Mom, B2, becuase that is the one ingredient you forgot! B1 picks the wrong kind of meat (doesn't that seem impossible?) and Palazzo nails some obscure ingredient, but forgots and kind of some key ingredient or another, so B2 is the WINNER! She is very excited that she then gets to ride around on a tour bus with her parents and Chef, getting the $35 tour of LA, and then dinner at a 4-star restaurant.
On to the service. First, it is the annual rite of passage for our intrepid chef-wannabes: The "Pretend to Get Really Mad, Just Like An Actual Professional Chef" segment. Yes, it's the opportunity to yell random profantities to practice for the real contest. Palazzo just doesn't have the pit bull in him (he's a likable lug), but the B's do a great job, B1 even lacing multiple profanities in a row! That is real talent.
The service is pretty unexciting, except there's another little shenanigan to come--Chef his accomplices Chef Big Bald Guy and Soux Chef Anonymous purposefully slip up and miss ingredients when the contestants are at the pass. Who would think of such a thing?
In the end, it comes down to a pretty even contest: and, B1 is out, for no real reason. The finale looks awesome, as we have the Return of the Jeninator, ready to spew more of her folksy wisdom and banter. Will have the summary up quickly on this one---hope I haven't bit off more than I can chew.......(OK, that is the stupidest joke ever, but it popped into my head, and I am embarrassed by it, and apologize deeply).
On to the service. First, it is the annual rite of passage for our intrepid chef-wannabes: The "Pretend to Get Really Mad, Just Like An Actual Professional Chef" segment. Yes, it's the opportunity to yell random profantities to practice for the real contest. Palazzo just doesn't have the pit bull in him (he's a likable lug), but the B's do a great job, B1 even lacing multiple profanities in a row! That is real talent.
The service is pretty unexciting, except there's another little shenanigan to come--Chef his accomplices Chef Big Bald Guy and Soux Chef Anonymous purposefully slip up and miss ingredients when the contestants are at the pass. Who would think of such a thing?
In the end, it comes down to a pretty even contest: and, B1 is out, for no real reason. The finale looks awesome, as we have the Return of the Jeninator, ready to spew more of her folksy wisdom and banter. Will have the summary up quickly on this one---hope I haven't bit off more than I can chew.......(OK, that is the stupidest joke ever, but it popped into my head, and I am embarrassed by it, and apologize deeply).
26 June 2008
Home Is (Not) Where Graehme's Heart Is
OK, I admit it. I've been too busy to blog. So, in condensed format, my thoughts on reality so far this week (at least as far as I've gotten on my TIVO).
This week on the bachelorette, its time for the home visits. This is my favorite. Every contestant seems to have an "unusual" and colorful family. Some have cute pets. Others have parents who ask "sensitive" questions. It always uncomfortable for fans, contestants and bachelorette, all at once. So, let the good times roll!
DEANNA, DEANNA, DEANNA (sung to a monotonal drone by Jesse, the colorfully dressed snowboarding dude). Say this, the guy lives a nice life. He apparantley does nothing but snowboard around Utah, dude. THat's it. But, he is pretty good at it. So too is Deanna, who seemed to pick it up pretty quickly. Of course, Deanna also visualized life with Sk8ter Boi--wake up, go to snow board all day, repeat. Somehow, I don't think this is what she had in mind. Jesse paints a chariming picture of his dad, pulling up his shirt and patting his rotund belly for Deanna. That sets the mood perfectly (although thankfully, pops refrains from doing so.) But the big news, the previously circumspect Jesse, who won't go to second base until the 15th group date, finally gets a little kissing action on.
Jeremy picks DeAnna up on his motorcycle. He was wearing a helmet. He has a cute dog. He has two pleasant brothers and a very nice sister-in-law. The dog reappears. He is the most depressing human being EVER born. He woos DeAnna by reading a lengthy, depressing tome on the death of his mother. To be fair, I am sure he was broken up my this, and no one faults him for his journal, but IT IS NOT SEXY TO READ THIS STUFF UNLESS YOU ARE A BEAT POET. (Man? Woman? WOOOOOAHHHH MAN cue bongos---comment if you get the reference) He seems a perfectly nice fellow, but good lord, I am sure there are other topics to be discussed that might be a little......more fun.
And now, its KID TIME!!! Everybody loves a kid. Before meeting young Tye, DeAnna and Jason head off to the Space Needle, the Seattle landmark previously unknown to our erudite heroine. THen it is time to meet the kid. He seems cute enough. DeAnna, knowing how to charm a child, hands him a golf ball. The puzzled tyke is bullied into saying thank you. Again, this is nice, Jason loves his son. But, DeAnna weeps at the father and child reunion (is only a heartbeat away, 2x points if you can name that song). Music swells cinematically.....cut to visit with family, parents ask the usual questions, DeAnna uses pre-scripted pablum to respond, Jason says goodbye to young Ty, music swells....
AND NEXT ON THE BACHELOR, Graehme screws everything up with help from his mother. Clearly, DeAnna thinks the guy is hot (as does TD's wife), and he is the front-runner. He'd have to burn down the building to screw this one up. They shoot some baskets---for a professional, Graehme missed a hell of a lot of jumpers. I don't recall him from the NBA, so assuming he is playing for the West Huntsville Lakers or something. Graehme gives her a basketball jersey with his name on it (wow, that's either presumptive or thoughtful or stupidly done by some production assistant), and then, time to go home
Graehme's mom is quite the helper. She informs DeAnna that Graehme has never had a girlfriend for more than 4 weeks, and does all she can to sabotage any chance Graehme has at winning. ANd then, something really weird happens. Graehme gets mopey. Not pensive. Not sad. Not introspective. Mopey. Glumpirish. And he refuses to communicate. At all. But DeAnna still has the hots for him
This is going to be a tough rose ceremony. First through, sk8ter boi (i know it is a snow board, but, you see, that's not an April Lavigne tune, and I couldn't think of anything funny). Then, the weeping dad. So it is between the depressing one, and mopey but hot Graehme. And, Graehme, it is time to say your goodbyes. Chris Harrison looks a little stunned. DeAnna looks a little stunned. Graehme looks a little stunned, but not all that bummed, maybe more a bit pissed. DeAnna walks him to his car. Her face says it all--wow, did I mess up. I was waiting for her to run back and ask for a do-over. Graehme takes the limo of shame, and the week's festivities are at an end.
So, is there any chance of a proposal here? Will she ditch them all? Will she become a snowboard groupie? A depressed memoirist? A soccer-mom, handing out golf-ball party favors to all of Ty's friends at neighborhood gatherings? Will she propose to Chris Harrison, or annoucer guy? Can't wait for next Monday.
Later today, So You Think You Can Dance (perhaps the loudest judges ever, and some good dancing).
This week on the bachelorette, its time for the home visits. This is my favorite. Every contestant seems to have an "unusual" and colorful family. Some have cute pets. Others have parents who ask "sensitive" questions. It always uncomfortable for fans, contestants and bachelorette, all at once. So, let the good times roll!
DEANNA, DEANNA, DEANNA (sung to a monotonal drone by Jesse, the colorfully dressed snowboarding dude). Say this, the guy lives a nice life. He apparantley does nothing but snowboard around Utah, dude. THat's it. But, he is pretty good at it. So too is Deanna, who seemed to pick it up pretty quickly. Of course, Deanna also visualized life with Sk8ter Boi--wake up, go to snow board all day, repeat. Somehow, I don't think this is what she had in mind. Jesse paints a chariming picture of his dad, pulling up his shirt and patting his rotund belly for Deanna. That sets the mood perfectly (although thankfully, pops refrains from doing so.) But the big news, the previously circumspect Jesse, who won't go to second base until the 15th group date, finally gets a little kissing action on.
Jeremy picks DeAnna up on his motorcycle. He was wearing a helmet. He has a cute dog. He has two pleasant brothers and a very nice sister-in-law. The dog reappears. He is the most depressing human being EVER born. He woos DeAnna by reading a lengthy, depressing tome on the death of his mother. To be fair, I am sure he was broken up my this, and no one faults him for his journal, but IT IS NOT SEXY TO READ THIS STUFF UNLESS YOU ARE A BEAT POET. (Man? Woman? WOOOOOAHHHH MAN cue bongos---comment if you get the reference) He seems a perfectly nice fellow, but good lord, I am sure there are other topics to be discussed that might be a little......more fun.
And now, its KID TIME!!! Everybody loves a kid. Before meeting young Tye, DeAnna and Jason head off to the Space Needle, the Seattle landmark previously unknown to our erudite heroine. THen it is time to meet the kid. He seems cute enough. DeAnna, knowing how to charm a child, hands him a golf ball. The puzzled tyke is bullied into saying thank you. Again, this is nice, Jason loves his son. But, DeAnna weeps at the father and child reunion (is only a heartbeat away, 2x points if you can name that song). Music swells cinematically.....cut to visit with family, parents ask the usual questions, DeAnna uses pre-scripted pablum to respond, Jason says goodbye to young Ty, music swells....
AND NEXT ON THE BACHELOR, Graehme screws everything up with help from his mother. Clearly, DeAnna thinks the guy is hot (as does TD's wife), and he is the front-runner. He'd have to burn down the building to screw this one up. They shoot some baskets---for a professional, Graehme missed a hell of a lot of jumpers. I don't recall him from the NBA, so assuming he is playing for the West Huntsville Lakers or something. Graehme gives her a basketball jersey with his name on it (wow, that's either presumptive or thoughtful or stupidly done by some production assistant), and then, time to go home
Graehme's mom is quite the helper. She informs DeAnna that Graehme has never had a girlfriend for more than 4 weeks, and does all she can to sabotage any chance Graehme has at winning. ANd then, something really weird happens. Graehme gets mopey. Not pensive. Not sad. Not introspective. Mopey. Glumpirish. And he refuses to communicate. At all. But DeAnna still has the hots for him
This is going to be a tough rose ceremony. First through, sk8ter boi (i know it is a snow board, but, you see, that's not an April Lavigne tune, and I couldn't think of anything funny). Then, the weeping dad. So it is between the depressing one, and mopey but hot Graehme. And, Graehme, it is time to say your goodbyes. Chris Harrison looks a little stunned. DeAnna looks a little stunned. Graehme looks a little stunned, but not all that bummed, maybe more a bit pissed. DeAnna walks him to his car. Her face says it all--wow, did I mess up. I was waiting for her to run back and ask for a do-over. Graehme takes the limo of shame, and the week's festivities are at an end.
So, is there any chance of a proposal here? Will she ditch them all? Will she become a snowboard groupie? A depressed memoirist? A soccer-mom, handing out golf-ball party favors to all of Ty's friends at neighborhood gatherings? Will she propose to Chris Harrison, or annoucer guy? Can't wait for next Monday.
Later today, So You Think You Can Dance (perhaps the loudest judges ever, and some good dancing).
22 June 2008
Have PMS? Watch Days of Our Lives!
Well, good morning. First I would like to thank the editor of The Orangutan for giving me the privilege of sharing my thoughts on this erudite blog. And now for something completely different... while watching Days of Our Lives (recorded for our viewing pleasure on our Ti-faux Friday), we learned that Morgan had (gasp) CRAMPS! No worries. As luck would have it, Stephanie brought her unopened box of Midol with her, and she and Chelsea told Morgan how Midol will help relieve her "cramps, bloating, and backache." Poor Morgan, did you know that she also had a headache? No worries! Stephanie told her (while still holding the unopened box) that Midol will also get rid of that too! Phew. I felt so relieved. I only wished it were that time of the month so that I too could get me some Midol.
This is NOT a joke. I'm sad to report that DOOL is now integrating sponsorship into the storyline. If this is what it will take to keep the Bradys, Hortons, and gang in my life, I'll have to just make the sacrifice. I've been addicted to the show since middle school (thank you Jennifer Meyrick for passing notes in class with the storyline until I finally started watching!), and I don't know how I'll survive the void that would be left without it (note the use of the passive voice). So, you've got your marching orders: Go buy Midol! It's for a very worthy cause
This posting brought to you by Bayer HealthCare, LLC.
This is NOT a joke. I'm sad to report that DOOL is now integrating sponsorship into the storyline. If this is what it will take to keep the Bradys, Hortons, and gang in my life, I'll have to just make the sacrifice. I've been addicted to the show since middle school (thank you Jennifer Meyrick for passing notes in class with the storyline until I finally started watching!), and I don't know how I'll survive the void that would be left without it (note the use of the passive voice). So, you've got your marching orders: Go buy Midol! It's for a very worthy cause
This posting brought to you by Bayer HealthCare, LLC.
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