Home Is (Not) Where Graehme's Heart Is

OK, I admit it. I've been too busy to blog. So, in condensed format, my thoughts on reality so far this week (at least as far as I've gotten on my TIVO).

This week on the bachelorette, its time for the home visits. This is my favorite. Every contestant seems to have an "unusual" and colorful family. Some have cute pets. Others have parents who ask "sensitive" questions. It always uncomfortable for fans, contestants and bachelorette, all at once. So, let the good times roll!

DEANNA, DEANNA, DEANNA (sung to a monotonal drone by Jesse, the colorfully dressed snowboarding dude). Say this, the guy lives a nice life. He apparantley does nothing but snowboard around Utah, dude. THat's it. But, he is pretty good at it. So too is Deanna, who seemed to pick it up pretty quickly. Of course, Deanna also visualized life with Sk8ter Boi--wake up, go to snow board all day, repeat. Somehow, I don't think this is what she had in mind. Jesse paints a chariming picture of his dad, pulling up his shirt and patting his rotund belly for Deanna. That sets the mood perfectly (although thankfully, pops refrains from doing so.) But the big news, the previously circumspect Jesse, who won't go to second base until the 15th group date, finally gets a little kissing action on.

Jeremy picks DeAnna up on his motorcycle. He was wearing a helmet. He has a cute dog. He has two pleasant brothers and a very nice sister-in-law. The dog reappears. He is the most depressing human being EVER born. He woos DeAnna by reading a lengthy, depressing tome on the death of his mother. To be fair, I am sure he was broken up my this, and no one faults him for his journal, but IT IS NOT SEXY TO READ THIS STUFF UNLESS YOU ARE A BEAT POET. (Man? Woman? WOOOOOAHHHH MAN cue bongos---comment if you get the reference) He seems a perfectly nice fellow, but good lord, I am sure there are other topics to be discussed that might be a little......more fun.

And now, its KID TIME!!! Everybody loves a kid. Before meeting young Tye, DeAnna and Jason head off to the Space Needle, the Seattle landmark previously unknown to our erudite heroine. THen it is time to meet the kid. He seems cute enough. DeAnna, knowing how to charm a child, hands him a golf ball. The puzzled tyke is bullied into saying thank you. Again, this is nice, Jason loves his son. But, DeAnna weeps at the father and child reunion (is only a heartbeat away, 2x points if you can name that song). Music swells cinematically.....cut to visit with family, parents ask the usual questions, DeAnna uses pre-scripted pablum to respond, Jason says goodbye to young Ty, music swells....

AND NEXT ON THE BACHELOR, Graehme screws everything up with help from his mother. Clearly, DeAnna thinks the guy is hot (as does TD's wife), and he is the front-runner. He'd have to burn down the building to screw this one up. They shoot some baskets---for a professional, Graehme missed a hell of a lot of jumpers. I don't recall him from the NBA, so assuming he is playing for the West Huntsville Lakers or something. Graehme gives her a basketball jersey with his name on it (wow, that's either presumptive or thoughtful or stupidly done by some production assistant), and then, time to go home
Graehme's mom is quite the helper. She informs DeAnna that Graehme has never had a girlfriend for more than 4 weeks, and does all she can to sabotage any chance Graehme has at winning. ANd then, something really weird happens. Graehme gets mopey. Not pensive. Not sad. Not introspective. Mopey. Glumpirish. And he refuses to communicate. At all. But DeAnna still has the hots for him

This is going to be a tough rose ceremony. First through, sk8ter boi (i know it is a snow board, but, you see, that's not an April Lavigne tune, and I couldn't think of anything funny). Then, the weeping dad. So it is between the depressing one, and mopey but hot Graehme. And, Graehme, it is time to say your goodbyes. Chris Harrison looks a little stunned. DeAnna looks a little stunned. Graehme looks a little stunned, but not all that bummed, maybe more a bit pissed. DeAnna walks him to his car. Her face says it all--wow, did I mess up. I was waiting for her to run back and ask for a do-over. Graehme takes the limo of shame, and the week's festivities are at an end.

So, is there any chance of a proposal here? Will she ditch them all? Will she become a snowboard groupie? A depressed memoirist? A soccer-mom, handing out golf-ball party favors to all of Ty's friends at neighborhood gatherings? Will she propose to Chris Harrison, or annoucer guy? Can't wait for next Monday.
Later today, So You Think You Can Dance (perhaps the loudest judges ever, and some good dancing).